MY DEMENTED DIARY

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Well, folks, today the Random Feast Day Generator comes up with Saint Mokios the Holy Martyr.

But I'm sure nobody's gonna bother with him. Today's the day that Mothers Day and Pentecost coincide. Pentecost requires red altar covers and I don't know what color Mothers Day requires but it's probably some other color besides red.

So the altar guild ladies will sit around in a prayer circle and hold hands and recite mystic incantations at their own belly buttons expecting a mystic revelation from God. Receiving none, they'll call the bishop of the diocese in Baltimore.

So then the bishop will convene the Diocesian Altar Guild Committee, and they'll sit around in a prayer circle and recite mystic incantations at their own belly buttons, and when they fail to receive Divine Guidance they'll call the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church of the U.S.A.

So then the presiding bishop will convene the Grandiose Episcopal Altar Guild Committee, and they'll sit around in a prayer circle and recite mystic incantations at their own belly buttons, and when God doesn't answer satisfactorily, they'll put in an overseas call to the Archwizard of Cantthinkstraight over in England, who will then convene the Grandiose Anglican Altar Guild Committee, which has got a direct hotline to God, so they'll come up with the decision.

Back in olden times they woulda made a call to the Pope except that he fell out of grace back in the days of King Henry VIII so he doesn't count anymore.

So, our choir sings at Middleham Chapel and I'll be waiting with great eagerness to see what color of altar covers we'll be using. Maybe stripes or polka-dots.

And then after church it'll be raining, so I'll hafta think of something to do indoors when I'd rather be outdoors grinding up my pile of twigs for the composter.

Happy Mothers Day!

OrneryPest