MY DEMENTED DIARY

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Today we celebrate a feast day in honor of Saint Vincent de Paul. It looks like we'll probably use green altar covers.

Yesterday's funeral went just fine. I think everybody in the county over 90 years old musta been there.

It's pouring down rain. This morning we'll spend our obligatory hour indulging our egotistical delusion that we can boss God around by reciting mystic incantations at our own belly buttons.

The Wondrous Weather Website is predicting it'll instantly stop raining at the exact stroke of 9:45 this morning. It's wonderful how precise they can be, and then turn out totally wrong.

But anyhow, our church's annual Steamed Crab Picnic is gonna be this afternoon, and we left most of the funeral-reception stuff set up in the parish hall for when we find out we've gotta hold the picnic indoors because the Wondrous Weather Website turns out to be wrong again.

Somehow that reminds me of something in one of Shakespeare's plays about the leftover funeral baked-meats warmed over for the wedding breakfast.

One of the problems in taking down the parish hall arrangement and setting it up for the next event is that too many people want to help. When the mastermind of the operation starts taking down one of the tables that's gotta get taken down, a buncha other folks start taking down the rest of the tables, and then we've gotta set them back up again. So you end up with an infinite-cycle rigamarole of taking down tables and setting them back up again.

Fortunately, yesterday's take-down-set-up cycle was halted by a certain strong-willed person taking charge, so it wasn't as bad as usual.

So, assuming it stops raining in time, we'll just send an emissary out to the picnic area to judge how much mud God has generously provided for us, and we'll be all ready to make the final indoor-outdoor decision.

Happy Sunday!

OrneryPest