MY DEMENTED DIARY

DANGER: HEAVY BLASPHEMY

NO RELIGION IS SAFE ON THESE PREMISES

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SACRILEGE TO ALL CREEDS

July 18, 2013 - - - 6:58 a.m.

The Vatican Again

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Today we yet once again make fun of the Vatican, which is now claiming that following the Pope's idiotic drivel on Twitter gets you time off from their imaginary purgatory. And if you're demented enough to believe that, you could probably be talked into believing that the entire universe is being secretly micromanaged by an impossibly convoluted three-headed mini-pantheon that some poor unsuspecting virgin found herself tangled up with a coupla thousand years ago.

Yesterday's knee doctor apptment was interesting, to say the least. Here's the story:

The torn ligament is much less serious than the doctor's initial estimate.

I've got slight arthritis in both knees, and slight arthritis in the lower spine.

My right foot has a collapsed arch.

The modified walking gait caused by the collapsed arch and the arthritis has caused one of my left leg muscles to develop an odd shape to compensate.

My left kneecap apparently was once fractured, unbeknownst to me, and healed back together wrong.

The combination of wrong-healed kneecap and odd-shaped muscle has caused some of the stringy parts of my left knee to become inflamed.

So here's the bottom line. Trying to fix everything will take about eight bouts of surgery, each requiring a long recuperation period, each having a risk of failure, and each tapping Medicare (meaning the Taxpayer's Dollar) for a whole buncha moolah.

A far better solution is to just use a cane for walks longer than two blocks and admit I can't do some of the stuff our dear church ladies want me to do. Hey, let 'em start bringing some of the young studs of the congregation up to speed!

I can still mow my lawn with a manual reel mower. I can still ride my bike. I can still drive Nelson the Nissan which has a stick-shift. I can still spade Gordon the Garden. I can still walk less than two blocks without a cane.

So, no more worry about my wobbly knee. Let it wobble! Hey, I'm an ancient geezer! Ancient geezers are supposed to wobble!

Happy Wobbling!

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