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August 31, 2013 - - - 7:41 a.m.

Pope Shows Common Sense

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Today we observe, to our great astonishment and unlimited delight, that Pope Francis is showing a glimmer of common sense. Yes, folks, he has spoken out in opposition to a war of naked aggression in Syria. Of course, he's still under the delusion that diplomacy might solve their problems. I suspect that level of ultra-rosy optimism is unjustified.

I think we oughta totally butt out of Syria and let those idiots mercilessly slaughter each other any way they please, poison gas or otherwise. That way we'll soon have an uninhabited bit of real estate for the rest of our burgeoning human population to expand into.

Yes, folks, yet again, nothing happened yesterday. Nothing's gonna happen again today.

And the problems with the house our son wants to buy have, we think, been solved. There's no water leak. It seems that the escrow company in charge of paying the water bill saved up a whole buncha bills and paid them all together in a lump sum and then got sorta sloppy about how they kept records. It has taken an army of lawyers and auditors to get everything straight.

So I'm looking forward to seeing how much of our superfluous furniture he's gonna be able to stuff into the U-Haul truck he's got reserved for the occasion.

Happy Saturday!

OrneryPest

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