MY DEMENTED DIARY

DANGER: HEAVY BLASPHEMY

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EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SACRILEGE TO ALL CREEDS

June 25, 2014 - - - 7:11 a.m.

World's Dumbest Criminal

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Today we make fun of Nicholas Wig, World's Dumbest Criminal. He broke into a house, signed himself onto Facebook using the victim's computer, didn't sign himself back off again, stole a buncha stuff including a personalized watch, left a coupla of his own identifiable possessions behind, and was wearing the watch when he was caught.

Yesterday while I was chopping twigs, a coupla electric company sky-buckets came by and installed two more wires on the poles. Hey, I thought they were supposed to be putting the wires underground, not putting up more wires overhead! Oh well, what do I know, anyhow?

I'm suspecting that one of the drawbacks to using a hand clipper to chop up twigs is when we do The Peace in church, shaking hands and saying "Peace" to each other, I'm gonna hafta be sorta careful so that the folks I shake hands with aren't withdrawing crushed stumps where their hands used to be.

Yesterday I got a call from the Village Medicine Man that my drug prescription was getting renewed. So I suppose today I'll probably get a call from the pusher saying it's time to come in and score the dope deal.

Meanwhile, I've got only a small pile of twigs left to chop up.

Happy Dope Dealing!

OrneryPest

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