MY DEMENTED DIARY

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EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SACRILEGE TO ALL CREEDS

May 14, 2013 - - - 6:31 a.m.

If You're Gonna Lie, At Least Make It Consistent!

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Today we make fun of some dude who was stopped for a traffic violation, found to be driving a stolen car, and responded with a totally inconsistent hodgepodge of lies. I can only begin to imagine what the jury is gonna do to him in court.

Yesterday nothing happened, so I mowed a bit of grass. Yawn.

I think our ancient cat Fish Breath is finally running out of lives. He's been issued at least 14 lives in contrast to the usual 9 commonly allocated to cats.

He's about 27 years old, and for the last several years the vet has diagnosed him with cirrhosis of the liver, spinal arthritis, near total kidney failure, and most of his internal organs are merrily riddled with cancerous tumors. We have no idea what's keeping him alive.

But in the last few days he's been getting noticeably weaker by the day.

One of his favorite napping places is on the lazy-susan server thing we've got on our dining table. While he's snoozing there, we spin him around on it, just for a few turns. He seems to enjoy it. So if that's his final pleasure in life, we'll be happy to oblige.

It looks like today is gonna be another great day for nothing to happen.

Happy Tuesday!

OrneryPest

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